You are right when you say that

You are right when you say, ‘Just because many men are denied access to their children does not mean that all woman are the same.’

Unfortunately that is what is seen the vast majority of the time, and is probably the motivation for 99% of the people in this club.

Just as a tiny suggestion, I would save all of the chats you are having through the internet with the children. It is more of a CYA move than anything. I was and am doing the same as you. It is great because I can send pictures, e-cards, money, and silly jokes to my daughter and all without any censoring from the ex.

There was one question that arose, and was introduced in a one little court skirmish, that was tossed out as soon as the judge saw a complete copy of the chat session, including the silly joke.

You know the problem with the current divorce industry, is that it needs a winner and a loser in order to profit and continue. It is only natural that some who lose a lot are bitter.

I applaud the initiative you are taking and have know several temporary girlfriends of mine who have told me to give up on my daughter and my fight for joint custody. I have joint custody, a daughter will purple hair, and can not remember the names of the temp girls.

Re: Custody

custodyHire an attorney. IMMEDIATELY!!

You might be able to TEMPORARILY put a halt to her plans to move until you have a hearing in front of a judge.

Start thinking about why it is in the child’s best interest to be with you and not your girlfriend BUT DON’T PUT ANYTHING IN WRITING!

Try NOT to do anything to piss off the baby’s mother. You do that, she’ll take the child just to piss in your face (sorry about the language but it adequately conveys my message). At the same time, don’t roll over and play dead – be firm but gentle.


Okay, the attorney is in court or you don’t have the money. If you haven’t the money but are too rich for pro bono or legal services, take a couple of days off, haul a&$ to one of the law school libraries (call to make sure they are accessbule to the public) and do some reading on motions for temporary custody (a/k/a pendent lite) and restraining orders against removing the child from the jurisdiction of New York State. With sufficient groveling in front of the court clerk who files the papers (often a non-practicing attorney) or in front of the reference librarian you might be able to buy yourself some time to figure this mess out.

This forum has some faq’s someplace (I can’t remember where) that are pretty helpful. READ THEM and calm down. You haven’t lost yet and will not lose until the FINAL decree even if she TEMPORARILY gets to take the child out of state.



A couple of thoughts on this excellent note

The lessons are as equally important to parties as they are to the attorneys and as applicable to non-jury trials as jury trials. Not only do you embarrass and distract your attorney, (almost always at the worst possible moment) but you may inadvertently tick off the very folks who are going to decide how bad your pain is going to be, if any.

Remember, your isn’t the only case the judge is going to hear – he’s probably got a busy backlog. Disturbing the decorum of his courtroom is going to really piss him/her off.

As for the jury – they are bored! They don’t want to listen to your shit, they want to be someplace else having a good time. Sighing and clucking your teeth, or engaging in other distracting behavior, only convinces them you’re an asshole who is responsible for them being there and they will react accordingly.